How to Get Out of Stress Debt

And there's a difference. Because broken means something is wrong with you. Debt just means you've been withdrawing more than you've been depositing. And that? That's fixable.

But first — let's talk about how you even got here.

It Doesn't Announce Itself. It Creeps.

Stress debt doesn't show up dramatically. It doesn't tap you on the shoulder and say hey, you're burning out. It sneaks in through the things we normalize.

The racing thoughts. The over-scheduling. The obsession with productivity. Being a great mom, killing it at work, getting healthy food on the table, exercising, doing all the things — and then speeding through traffic to get somewhere faster so you can have a few extra minutes to look at your phone.

That's the trap. We race. We arrive. And then we just... race somewhere else.

And eventually the body starts sending signals. Weight gain. Hair loss. Wrinkles. Anger. Shallow breathing. Body pain. And we chalk it up to getting older.

It's not age. It's accumulated stress. And your body is begging you to slow down.

What Sobriety Taught Me About Stress

I want to talk about my sobriety journey because it's one of the clearest examples I have of learning to actually notice what's happening in my body.

For years I ran hard — producing, being social, doing all the things — and then I'd have a drink to relax. That was the plan. Work hard, drink to unwind. Except it wasn't working. Not really. Because I wasn't dealing with the underlying stress. I was just coping. And when the coping mechanism stops working — the fallout gets louder.

I stopped drinking because even just a little bit wasn't working anymore. And when I stepped into sobriety, suddenly there was nothing at the end of the tunnel to run toward. So I had to actually sit with the frustration. The anger. The racing thoughts. No substance to take the edge off.

That's when I started really learning what regulated feels like.

The Space Between Feeling Like Shit and Slowing Down

Here's the part nobody talks about. There's a gap. A real, uncomfortable gap between I feel terrible and I'm ready to do something about it.

You don't just take one yoga class and fix it. You don't meditate for 20 minutes and suddenly feel fine. I went to a yoga and meditation workshop recently — came in completely wired — and the teacher literally looked at me and said whoa, calm down. I knew. I had been sprinting for weeks.

That class helped. But I was in debt. And you don't pay off debt in one session.

So How Do You Get From Debt to Regulated?

You make deposits. Consistently. Automatically. Like a savings account.

Every time you sit down to meditate — deposit. Every time you journal — deposit. Every time you take a long, slow, intentional breath throughout your day — deposit.

And yes — some things you think are deposits are actually withdrawals. An intense workout when your body is already depleted? Withdrawal. Obsessively checking Instagram? Withdrawal. Speeding toward your next goal without pausing? Withdrawal.

Here are the tools that actually work for me:

• Breath. This is your biggest, most accessible tool. Not just during meditation — throughout the day. In your car. Between meetings. Walking to the kitchen. Long, slow, full inhales and exhales. I use the HeartMath tool to track my heart coherence — it's directly tied to how I'm breathing.

• Meditation. I know — some of you are like it doesn't work for me. But meditation isn't about emptying your mind. It's about watching your mind react and bringing it back. Start with two minutes. Work up from there.

• Reflection. Get clear on what you actually want — not just what you're posting about, not just what looks productive. What are the daily actions that are going to get you there?

• Digital boundaries. I downloaded an app called Opal that blocks Instagram during focus time. Game changer. Because mindlessly tapping your phone every five seconds? That's an energy leak.

• Restorative practices. A long shower. A bath. A nap. Restorative yoga. Acupuncture. A walk in nature. These aren't indulgences — they're deposits.

What You're Actually Building Toward

When you make these deposits consistently — over months, over years — your reality starts to reflect how you want to live.

Less urgency. Less drama. More presence. More freedom in your body. You stop white-knuckling through your days and start actually being in them.

You become a more present mother. A better partner. A clearer thinker. A calmer version of yourself that you actually recognize.

And when you've built the bank — really built it — and life pulls you into a sprint? You bounce back faster. You know what regulated feels like. You know the way home.

One Thing to Take Away

Just because it feels good doesn't mean it isn't a withdrawal.

Sit with that. Because a lot of us are addicted to the rush of productivity, the high of creative output, the satisfaction of checking things off. And those things aren't bad — but they have a cost.

Be honest about what steals your energy. Start making automatic deposits. Look at the four pillars — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual — and ask yourself where you're overdrawn.

Then start there. One deposit at a time.

You're not broken. You're just in debt. And debt is something you can pay off.

Lindsay Trimarchi Richter is a life coach, speaker, and host of the How to Heal Podcast. She works with high-achieving women ready to stop performing and start living. Learn more at www.lindsaytrimarchi.com and apply for The Upgrade.